Fiction that could be real

Escape from economic depression

Posted by Ben on Mon, 2008/06/09 - 09:57 in

Is the housing market making you feel down? Are the highest gas prices in American history making you cringe every time at the pump? Do you feel that the American Government is taking advantage of the citizenry? Do you wish you could just escape? If so, contact Bullshit Be-Gone!

This licensed travel agency, multi-sponsored consulate of many 3rd world countries can help tailor a special escape plan- for a week, a month, or for the rest of your life! Just call 1.800.FLEE.NOW and an Escape Agent will assist you.

Miki, I miss you

Posted by Ben on Wed, 2008/04/16 - 15:18 in

Miki,

From the moment you said "hi", I was hooked. We text messaged each other constantly during the day, chatted on the phone for an hour or two a night, and we even dreamed the same dreams together. I don't know how or why I was to meet you, but I'm glad I did.

11 year old boy recomposed famous musical work

Posted by Ben on Wed, 2008/03/05 - 21:23 in

Pierre, South Dakota - A recently discovered musical virtuoso has accidentally recomposed a work of Mozart. The 11 year old boy, Billy Gunn, who has never heard the works of Mozart (except for "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"), has independently recomposed the first movement in Mozart's Bassoon Concerto.

Found: unique press release for a lounge

Posted by Ben on Tue, 2008/03/04 - 15:55 in

We received a press release, written on parchment, from an unknown person. We are not sure if this is factual or not, but we are keeping an open mind about it. Here is the full text:

The Ticking Crossroads
For release to October 15, 1975 A.D.

The Ticking Crossroads is now open to this time point.

Dr. Page steps down as President of the SBC

Posted by Ben on Thu, 2008/02/28 - 16:29 in

Taylor, SC - The President of the Southern Baptist Convention, Dr. Frank S. Page, stepped down from his position, due to his recent epiphany about how his beliefs about Jesus Christ have been incorrect, including that Atheists, Homosexuals, and non-Southern Baptists deserve the love and compassion that his fellow Southern Baptists already receive.

Otaku and Yakuza close down Akihabara

Posted by Ben on Tue, 2008/02/26 - 23:32 in

Akihabara, Tokyo, Japan - In an unprecedented move by "otaku" (people with obsessive interests), Akihabara was closed down as a protest to the recent high commercialization of the area, with the help of local yakuza (Japanese mafia).

From 10:00 AM to 7:00 PM, business and traffic was halted in Akihabara. The protestors blocked the roads with barriers and their bodies. Most were soft spoken or very shy, but were firm about the protest.

Miracle acne treatment: oatmeal and soy milk

Posted by Ben on Mon, 2008/02/25 - 14:23 in

Denver, Colorado - Many doctors across the Front Range are prescribing the use of a "miracle cure" for acne: oatmeal and fresh soy milk. It has been prescribed and used more since a paper was published, in early 2007, by Dr. Wilson Carlson detailing the effectiveness of the treatment.

Peter Kawolski, Psychic Guide

Posted by Ben on Wed, 2008/02/20 - 22:44 in

Peter Kawolski, Psychic
Cape Girardeau, Missouri
Tel: (573)555-2827

After honing his natural talents with world spiritual teachings, Peter Kawolski is now coming forward to announce that he wants to help mankind with his psychic abilities.

"Humanity needs guidance for these difficult times," he said. "I decided to come forward and lend my abilities and talents, to those who wish to utilize them, to assist with making difficult decisions."

I-25 sinkhole uncovers lost entrance to city underground

Posted by Ben on Tue, 2008/02/19 - 16:45 in

The discovery was made by road crews and Denver Water after a giant sinkhole opened up, on February 7th, in the northbound lanes of I-25.

"While looking [in the sinkhole] we found a tunnel opening big enough to drive an Escalade through," said CDOT worker Bill Martinez. "I called my foreman over to take a look."

The sinkhole was filled and repaired by Friday of last week, but not before historians, cavers, and Denver city engineers found another entrance to what they found to be a tunnel system.

The President must follow the SANE Act as well as the Constitution

Posted by Ben on Mon, 2008/02/18 - 15:48 in

Earlier this year, on January 30th, the House and Senate quietly passed the SANE (Safe and Normal Expectation) Act. This new law requires that all individuals who wish to run for National public office must take a battery of psychological and physical health tests so that they can be medically declared "fit" for public service.